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Welcoming Changes in Life

Welcoming Changes in Life

When a recent event such as a job loss, end of a relationship or illness has shaken you to the core, what do you do? Do you embrace the road you are now on or do you resist, react, and avoid change at all costs? It’s a choice that will either paralyze you or propel you forward towards self-growth.

Being on the verge of impending change is probably one of the hardest places to be. At every fork in the road there are decisions that need to be made and questions about the outcome. The slate is blank and the only choices are to stay where you are or move forward. What choice will you make? To get to the point of life-changing transformation, we need to do the work. And change, good or bad, is painful. It is the ending of one life and a beginning of another. How you do deal with that fear of the unknown? Do you jump into the next phase of your life allowing the “what if’s” to consume your thoughts and dictate your actions? Or do you open yourself up to something different? Ask yourself how often you make unconscious decisions about your future that end up propelling you into self-sabotaging behavior?

You could turn the other cheek and continue doing what you’ve always done or you could open your eyes to its gift. That gift is the opportunity you have to create a conscious, healthy and wealthy life, the life that you really want. It’s a life that comes out of self-growth and life-changing transformation. How do you get there?

Here are six things you can do in the midst of uncertainty to choose differently that will ultimately change the trajectory of your life.

Don’t Panic

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When you’re first taught how to swim, what was the first thing you learned? “Whatever you do, don’t panic!” Panic is one of the reasons people drown. It’s also the reason why you make disastrous unconscious decisions that dictate your life and why you get stuck in limbo not wanting to make a decision either way.

The ocean becomes symbolic of our lives where those who survive take a deep breath and go with the tide, and others who panic are swallowed by the waves of their own fear. A way to interrupt the flow of fear is to just notice it. Refocusing your attention on your physical sensations, your heart beating, your shoulders tensing, may help to shift your mood and prevent you from doing something you might regret. It could also help you easily get to next tip, which is, “Don’t React.”

Don’t React

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So what do we do when we don’t know what to do? First, stop, take a deep breath and don’t do anything. Eckhart Tolle, spiritual teacher and author of Stillness Speaks says to “become at ease with the state of ‘not knowing’.” It is having faith and trusting what you do know in the unknown.

Knowing, for example, that the tide will recede, the vast encumbrances of our lives will pass. Sure you may not know if you’re making the right decisions, but there are no guarantees in life anyway. In all situations, there is an undercurrent of change and risk lurking just beneath the surface.

Acceptance

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Learning to accept your situation will help you develop a sense of empowerment over the unknown. You may not know, for example, what the future holds, but being present and focusing on what you can do today, gives you control over your future decisions. In addition, trying to run, avoid, or distance yourself from fear, only transforms it into a bigger monster.

Meditate, talk to friends, family or a counselor, and express yourself through art, exercise, and spirituality and in those activities, you will find the space to express not repress your emotions. Then with time, patience and self-compassion, you will eventually find acceptance in your situation.

Reflect on the Past

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Another activity is to recall times in your life when you were faced with an unknown. Then, think about how you handled the situation and how the events of your life eventually unfolded. More times than not, our worries and anxieties are unnecessary and are unfounded. Remembering these incidents will remind you that you have gone through difficult situations before and that you can do it again.

Use your past experiences to bring you strength, to lift you up and to remind you what you are capable of.

Make Conscious Decisions

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When fearful, our options seem limited but when we are at peace, more possibilities open up. Go over your list of what ifs again and see if you can incorporate a more balanced list of the best and worst scenarios possible. Then talk to love ones about what you would do in each situation and the choices you do have.

There may be options you overlooked and friends and family may be able to put your situation in perspective. Sometimes our greatest worries begin to dissipate once we begin expressing them. Lastly, give yourself a timeline. Create a goal for yourself and make conscious clear decisions about where you want to go in your life and when you want to do it.

Befriend Your Fears

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We often perceive fears as our greatest enemy, yet they provide us with an enormous opportunity for self-growth. What if we were to see them as friends who want to help us become a better person, a person who isn’t afraid to be more of who we really are? Let your fears help you instead of hurt you by asking them, “Why are you here? What are you trying to teach me?” Then, write down what comes to you. You may be surprised by the answers.

I believe that every situation, especially the challenging ones, provides you with an opportunity to grow as a human being, if you let it. At the surface, change and the unknown, a seemingly daunting duo are actually disguises for two loving teachers who really want you to transform into the strong, authentic and powerful person you already are. The sooner we’re able to get that, the sooner you’ll be free to truly live your life.

written by Brandi-Ann Uyemura
Source: BeliefNet